my little monster

being a nanny is a weird weird weirdo weird gig. my job is to have the most intimately close relationship with a small child who will then, esentially, not remember me once my job is done. it's not that hard a pill to swallow, mainly because i'm used to the cycle, but also because kids take this turn at about age 4 where the become a pain in my ass. i'm sure that some people love 4 year olds, and yeah, i still prefer them over people my own age, but in general, they're sweeter when they're younger.

take, for example, my little monster: he was my old charge and now i take care of his tiny angel sister. i'm telling you: monster and i were best friends, man. it was very "theme song to the courtship of eddie's father," only i'm not a dude and he's not my son. my job was to shower him with all my love and attention, which i enjoyed and was paid well to do. after spending 50 hours a week together for 2 years, my little monster friend started "school" and i became his new sister's first best friend.

man, was my monster friend pissed off. he was mad at his parents for having another baby, and he was mad at me, his traitorous ex-best friend, and he was mad at his angel sister for existing and being so beloved. his big joke, which, btw, is not that funny, is to say, "my little sister is dead. she's dead!" he's also a big fan of, "you're stupid," and, "i don't like you."

and a lot of times, when i show up at his house in the morning now that i'm spending 50 hours a week with his sister (have i mentioned she is an absolute angel???), the monster is so mean to me ("i don't want her! i don't want her to be here!" etc. etc. etc.). but some days, he loves me so much and curls up in my lap like old times.

i have a job that overwhelms me sometimes with pure emotion. these kids, their energy is just 1000 percent. there's nothing fake about their feelings. the angel, man, all she has to do is crawl towards me from across the room with her little maniacal glee thing that she does, and i cry a bit, just happy to be a part of it. i love coming to work. i love love love my baby angel that i've gotten to watch grow from her mom's belly to the 15 month old she is today, and i love her insane 4 year old monster of a brother who wants nothing else to do with me 4 days a week.

it's just a job. technically. but the love makes it kind of intoxicating. hard to quit. i'm addicted.